


okay

by buddiebuddie (positivelystisaac)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 15:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21038537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/positivelystisaac/pseuds/buddiebuddie
Summary: “She’s no Evan Buckley, I can tell you that much,” he insists.“Promise?”After storming out of Bobby and Athena’s, Buck finds himself on Eddie’s front step.





	okay

**Author's Note:**

> If I had a say in what happened during 3x04, this definitely would’ve been it. Spoilers for the big ol truth bomb from tonight’s episode :)

Eddie closes Christopher’s door quietly, careful not to wake him. He walks down the hallway towards the kitchen, where there’s a sink full of tonight’s dinner dishes waiting for him. As he passes the front door, he notices headlights in the driveway. His eyebrows crinkle in confusion as he swings open his front door to see what’s going on. 

He recognizes the car. And the driver, all sharp angles and perfectly combed hair? Well, he’d know that face anywhere. “Buck?” Eddie calls out, bringing a hand to his eyes to shield them from the intense glow of the Jeep’s headlights as he crosses the front lawn. The grass is cold beneath his bare feet.

Sure enough, Buck hops out of the driver’s side, only after killing the lights. “What are you doing here?” Eddie asks. It’s only after Buck has come close enough that Eddie can see his face twisted up in what can only be described as hurt that Eddie reaches out for him. “Hey, what’s going on?” 

Buck shakes his head wordlessly, taking a shaky breath. 

“Buck, hey, talk to me,” Eddie says, finally close enough to grab the other man. He places his hands on Buck’s shoulders. Immediately, Buck feels grounded. Safe. Secure. Funny, he thinks. How just one touch can do that. 

“It… it was Bobby,” Buck all but whispers, voice thick with betrayal. “It was Bobby.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asks, eyes frantically searching Buck’s face for any explanation. All he’s met with is a jaw set firmly and two blue eyes hidden behind a sheen of hot tears threatening to spill over at any second. “Bobby what?”

“Bobby’s the reason I don’t have a job,” Buck replies. And it’s as if the floodgates have finally yielded, all the words and thoughts that had built up in the car ride over finally spilling out. “He was the one who told them not to hire me back. Here I was this whole time, thinking it was the city who was dragging their feet, the city insisting I wasn’t ready for the one thing I’ve wanted and trained for and begged for all these weeks. No, all these months. I mean, Jesus, Eddie, it’s been months of this. And this whole time, I thought he was on my side. I thought he was fighting for me, and they kept shutting him down. Not once did I think he was the one keeping me from it. I’m an idiot. I’m the biggest fucking idiot in the world to have believed that, I—”

He’s crying now, fat tears rolling down his cheeks and breaking apart as they hit his beard. Eddie pulls him into his chest, gripping his back tightly. 

“I got you,” he says into Buck’s hair, bringing a hand up to the back of his head and stroking it reassuringly. “You’re not an idiot, Buck. You’re not.”

“Did you know?” comes Buck’s muffled voice from against Eddie’s tee shirt. 

Eddie shakes his head as Buck pulls away, standing tall and facing Eddie. “No, I had no idea,” Eddie says honestly. “I thought the same as you.” 

“I can’t believe this,” Buck practically hisses, bringing a palm to his face to wipe away his tears. “He just… he thinks he knows what’s best for me and he  _ doesn’t _ . I want this more than I want to breathe and he doesn’t get it. He’s an asshole. A selfish asshole.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie sighs. What he doesn’t say is that he doesn’t blame Bobby for deeming Buck to be Not Yet Ready. That if anyone were to ask his opinion, he’d say the same. That he lives in constant fear of ever again having to see Buck drop to the ground lifelessly like he did that night at Bobby and Athena’s. That if keeping him on light duty until he’s ready to return means he stays alive, stays coming over to hang out with Christopher, stays dropping by in the dark because he needs to talk and Eddie’s the one he needs, well….. well, then Eddie’s a selfish asshole, too. The most selfish asshole there is. Give him all the awards. Call the mayor. Get a parade going right down La Cienega. It’s an honor he’ll accept gladly. 

“He doesn’t believe in me,” Buck says quietly after a moment. His voice breaks on the last word, hands coming up to cover his face as he takes in another shaky breath. 

“Hey,” Eddie says, voice firm as he squeezes Buck’s shoulder. “Buck, look at me. It’s because he believes in you. He knows you can do this, knows you can recover and get yourself back in fighting shape. You’re…. you’re not there yet,” he says honestly. He steels himself for the inevitable anger on Buck’s part, yet finds himself somewhat shocked when it never comes. 

“I know,” Buck nods, voice small. “I know I’m not. And that’s the worst part.” 

“We want you back. Hell, I want you back so badly I can’t even find the right words to say it. But, listen to me.” 

Buck brings his gaze up from Eddie’s bare feet in the grass and meets his eyes. 

“You’re going to get there. Bobby did it because he knows it’s what’s right. He knows that you want this, we all do. But we can’t lose you. I can’t lose you, okay? So you need to just put your head down and keep going. You’re gonna be back with us soon, I promise.”

“Okay,” Buck says, nodding. “Okay, you’re right. I know you are. It’s just hard, y’know? Bobby replaced me, hell, he even gave the new girl my locker.”

“Lena? Don’t worry about her. She’ll be gone in a few shifts once her station opens back up again.”

“You guys spot each other now,” Buck replies. “That used to be my job.”

Eddie can’t help but laugh when he sees the childish pout that’s come over Buck’s face. “Still your job,” he says. 

“But—”

Eddie shakes his head, raising a hand as if to say  _ stop that.  _ “She’s no Evan Buckley, I can tell you that much,” he insists. 

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Eddie nods. 

Buck sighs. “Okay, then.”

Eddie nods towards the front door, which is still wide open from when he came out earlier. “C’mon.”

Buck follows him in wordlessly, graciously accepting the cold beer Eddie passes him a moment later. 

They settle in on the couch, Eddie turning on the tv and flipping through until he finds a basketball game. He turns to face Buck, whose eyelids are already drooping. 

“And for the record, you  _ are _ an idiot,” Eddie says after a few minutes. He’s sure Buck is asleep beside him. Imagine his surprise when Buck breaks out in a grin.

“And for the record, I love you,” he replies sleepily, dropping his head so it rests on Eddie’s shoulder. 

Eddie takes a deep breath, running his fingers through Buck’s hair. “Me, too.” His heart pounds in his chest as he thinks about how many lines they’re crossing right now. 

“Stop overthinking,” Buck mumbles. 

“Okay,” Eddie replies. And it is. 


End file.
